Advice to the Hopeless December 7, 2013

WRITING - Advice to the Hopeless

Hey Joe Bob,

I recently had the dubious privilege of watching 'The Stand' for the first time in ten years and I had to ask my girlfriend to stop it so I could dredge up memories of MonsterVision. After looking around the site (I'm very glad you still do the advice to the hopeless, by the way) and googling, I'm shocked that there aren't more full episodes of MonsterVision available (though your treatment of 'Return of the Living Dead' is out there on youtube, thankfully). Not only did you introduce me to a number of amazing movies I probably wouldn't have seen otherwise ('Motel Hell' was a hell of an experience), but you provided a pretty great environment for me to find some other nerd friends (thanks for introducing me to IRC and forcing me to give a damn about computers, it worked out pretty well).

Anyway, to the point- I moved up to Seattle a while back and have been pretty impressed with the showing of cult movies at small, independent theaters. They even have guests show up to assist in either making fun of or otherwise officiating movies- like the Found Footage Festival guys or various actors from 'The Room' (if you could call that a movie). Do you ever do anything like that yourself, or have you considered it? I'm no demographer, but I'd hope/assume that there are more than enough fans of 'good' (bad) horror wandering around to make it worth your while- going to the theater to have a beer, burger, and listen to you introduce a good bad film would be a treat. Anyway, this probably isn't the first time someone's asked you to come into town for bad movies and beer, and it probably won't be the last. Thanks again for sharing your enthusiasm for the kinds of films that may never be made again. If you're ever in Seattle and want to cash in on some beer and maybe hit Central Cinema for a showing of 'They Live!', consider my schedule cleared.

- Greg


Hey Greg-- I got close this past May. I was at the big Crypticon thing out by the airport, and while I was in town I did a presentation of "Pieces" at the Grand Cinema in downtown Tacoma. I didn't realize at the time that SeaTac would pass the $15-an-hour minimum wage or I would have stayed there. Preciate the support, bud.

Hang in there, Joe Bob





Hey Joe Bob, I know you've probably gotten tons or e-mails asking the same question, but I was just wondering what your opinion of the Evil Dead remake was. Have you seen it, and if so, what did you think? PS: Have you ever been to Starlight Six Drive-In in Atlanta? Every Labor Day, they hold a dusk until dawn screening of classic B-movie fare. It would be awesome to have you as a guest of honor here this year!

Take care, Your friendly neighborhood Jimbo


Jimbo, I thought the Evil Dead remake was remarkably unemotional--I mean, it didn't really do anything for me. All that money and so little edgy stuff. There's was nothing obviously wrong with it. Well, there was one thing. How do you remake Evil Dead and leave out the Ash character? I mean, come on, man. Anyway, yes, I've been to the Labor Day festival at the Starlight Six. I can't remember which year I was there, but they've never invited me back! Preciate the support, bud.

Hang in there, Joe Bob





Hey Joe Bob, I don't have a question or anything, just wanted to tell you that I think you are awesome. Loved Monstervision. Hope to meet you at a convention some day.

Later, Kate


Hi Kate Thank you soooooo much for that sweet note. You're awesome for taking the time to do that. I haven't done any conventions since June but I'm sure I'll be out there next year.

Hang in there, Joe Bob





Joe Bob,

I am curious about something. Did you, by any chance, work for Kelly Services back in 2000? I ask because I worked a temp job for Kelly Services at that time & the HR person who conducted the orientation for the temp job looked very very similar to you & he talked the exact same way that you do. Was that you or was it just coincidence. R.S.V.P. Thanks.

- Les


Wow, Les, That's not the kind of email I get every day. I've known two girls named Kelly, but I never worked for them. The only jobs I can remember having in the year 2000 involved Talk magazine and a short-lived publication called Maximum Golf. Oh, and Playboy. Did Kelly work for Playboy?

Hang in there, Joe Bob





Joe Bob,

I'm on an Asian epic kick. Re-watched Hero, watched The Warlords. Looking for big sweeping epic Asian violence, preferably with satisfying action scenes and high body counts. Stumbled on War of Arrows at the video store. Bingo! Action that's as exciting as any I've seen in a while. Body count? Check. Serious violence? Check. Predictable, yeah sorta. Epic? approaching it. Visceral joyride? Check. It's fairly new, from 2011. I'd never heard of it but that doesn't mean anything.

Pedro says check it out.


Hi Pedro, Are you the U.S. distributor????? Only kidding. Thanks for the tip, man. Asia is making a comeback, I can tell.

Hang in there, Joe Bob




Hello Joe Bob,

My name is Jamielee and I live in australia. I wholeheartedly support your efforts to preserve the drive-in theater which unfortunately Australia has very few of. I personally hope that there is still some around for the next generation to enjoy. Keep up the good work.

Jamielee


Jamielee, Thanks for those words of support. Some of the greatest drive-in movies of all time have been filmed in Australia, not to mention the weirdbeard favorite "Dead End Drive-In," so I'm sorry to hear their numbers are declining.

Hang in there, Joe Bob