Monstervision

Needful Things(1993)

TRANSCRIPTS - Monstervision


"Hey, Joe Bob Briggs with FOUR FULL HOURS of Stephen King for you tonight. You may have seen "Needful Things" before, but have you seen the special fully-restored, uncut, extended, "my daddy is Charlton Heston so I'll turn the camera off when I durn well FEEL like it" director's cut version as provided to TNT by Fraser Heston, with a running time of three hours, seven minutes and 15 seconds. I think NOT.

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National Lampoon's European Vacation (1995)

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Oh, my goodness -- is this really the last night of Joe Bob's Summer School? Well, hack off my leg and call me Peggy.

Read more: National Lampoon's European Vacation (1995)

 

My Boyfriend's Back (1993)

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Okay, who else just stood in line for three hours at the late-night post office so they could get their taxes in on time? I hate April 15th. But we've got the goofy teen horror-comedy "My Boyfriend's Back" to cheer you up.

Read more: My Boyfriend's Back (1993)

   

Maximum Overdrive (1986)

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I'm Joe Bob Briggs, and it's time for "Maximum Overdrive," considered by most critics to be the WORST Stephen King movie ever made. I don't wanna hurt Steve's feelings, I know he tunes in now and then--Steve, if you're watching, I personally think the movie does have its moments.

Read more: Maximum Overdrive (1986)

 

Malice (1993)

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I'm Joe Bob Briggs, and it's Nasty Guy Night tonight, beginning with the big hoohaw medical malpractice flick, "Malice," where Alec Baldwin takes out Nicole Kidman's ovary and she is NOT HAPPY about it.

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Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (1985)

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Joe Bob Briggs, and tonight we're goin back into the apocalyptic Australian outback with Mel Gibson for "Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome." The Mad Max flicks kinda took the place of the old westerns. That's because the modern cowboy has been ruined for all time.

Read more: Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (1985)

 

Love Potion No. 9 (1992)

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Every time I try to play poker in peace, like God intended, Cherry Dilday starts screaming, "I wanna go! I wanna go! I wanna go!" Why do women feel the need to do this?

Read more: Love Potion No. 9 (1992)

   

Howling 3 (1987)

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"I'm Joe Bob Briggs and it's Werewolf Night here at "MonsterVision." Our first flick is "The Howling III: The Marsupials," which puts werewolves in the kangaroo family, and then we skip a few years to "Howling VII," the one where the werewolves learn to line-dance at a country- western bar outside Barstow.

Read more: Howling 3 (1987)

 

Howling 7 (1995)

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"Now. There's a lot of resemblance between the various "Howling" movies.

For example, they all have the word "Howling" in their title. That's the main thing they have in common.

Read more: Howling 7 (1995)

   

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