"Well, I'm Joe Bob Briggs, and up next we have "The Fury," the film Brian DePalma made after "Carrie" and is sorta like "Carrie" but everybody dumped on it as being cheap far-fetched exploitation, which of course is why I like it
"Okay, we move on to "Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter," which had to eventually be changed to "Friday the 13th Part 4," because--surprise!--it turned out not to be the final chapter after all, and there were plenty more dead teenagers waiting to be pitchforked while having sex--
"I don't know what YOU wanna talk about, but let's talk about Terry, the babe who gets popped on the butt with the slingshot. That actress's name is Kirsten Baker, and WHAT HAPPENED TO HER? And, more importantly, who has her phone number?
"WELCOME to the First Annual Joe Bob Briggs Dusk-to-Dawn "Friday the 13th" Marathon. I'm rested. I'm limber. I went to the gym today, did two minutes on the treadmill. And you'll notice that I don't have a single Old Milwaukee Tall Boy tonight.
Right now we've got the 1995 psychological horror flick, "The Fear." Speaking of psychology, have you guys heard about this brother and sister team in New York City who've come up with, you ready for this? The Hair Part Theory. They say the way you part your hair gives people a subconscious impression of you, which over time affects your personality.
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