Monstervision

Conquest of the Planet of the Apes (1972)

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Joe Bob Briggs, and it's Mother's Day again, isn't it? They keep having that thing every year. Course, you know how we celebrate around here? We show another "Planet of the Apes" movie!

Read more: Conquest of the Planet of the Apes (1972)

 

Cold Hands, Warm Heart/ I, Robot (1963)

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Now. There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. Remember that from "The Outer Limits"?

Read more: Cold Hands, Warm Heart/ I, Robot (1963)

 

Clash of the Titans (1981)

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Okay, what's wrong with this list? Sir Laurence Olivier, Dame Maggie Smith, Claire Bloom, and Ursula Andress. Those are the gods and goddesses of heaven in tonight's movie, "Clash of the Titans," one of THE most requested movies on "MonsterVision," something of a cult classic, also starring Harry Hamlin in his film day-butt, as Perseus, with his magic sword.

Read more: Clash of the Titans (1981)

   

Christine (1983)

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Hell hath no fury like a woman trying to steal a parking spot at the mall, right? Well, tonight, Hell hath no fury like a FURY scorned -- a 1958 Plymouth Fury named "Christine." I'm Joe Bob Briggs, and is there ANYTHING that women ever forget?

Read more: Christine (1983)

 

Children of the Corn 2 (1992)

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I'm Joe Bob Briggs, and some Rhodes Scholar decided to make the sequel to "Children of the Corn" -- TEN YEARS after the first one came out. And there wasn't enough story to make a whole movie the FIRST time, but we've got Part Two for you tonight, a mere SEVEN years after IT came out.

Read more: Children of the Corn 2 (1992)

   

Carrie (1976)

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You know, speaking of horrifying things your wife or girlfriend wants to take you to, do you guys know the five scariest words a man can hear at holiday time? "Take me to 'The Nutcracker.'" Why do we always PRETEND we wanna do this?

Read more: Carrie (1976)

 

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

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Tonight, the ORIGINAL "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," the one with Kristy Swanson as the airhead cheerleader turned heart-staking werewolf-killer, before Sarah Michelle Gellar took over and spawned one of THE biggest hit TV shows among teenage girls of all ages.

Read more: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

   

Breeders (1997)

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Joe Bob Briggs, and they're BACK. Remember a while ago when we showed "Grim"? A buncha yuppies go underground and get chased by a pizza-faced monster?

Read more: Breeders (1997)

 

Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)

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I'm Joe Bob Briggs, and this is the night of Drah-kools and Vahm-peers. Do you notice how, if they want to make an artistic version of a horror film, they change the pronunciation?

Read more: Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)

   

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