Remember when the war with IRAQ was starting up? And all the guys over at CNN were saying, "Ooooooo, Saddam Hussein has Russian-made MIG fighter planes," and "Oooooooo, Saddam Hussein has these CRACK fighting troops, the Republican Guard," and "Ooooooooooo, it could take YEARS to win a desert war" -- and then, one week later, it was, like, "Well, yes, we ARE leading 89 to nothing at halftime, but he MIGHT make a comeback."
I'm Joe Bob Briggs, and I'm sure you guys noticed that since I moved to El Lay, I decided it was time to update my personal ad. First I tried my usual flat-out lies: "Michael Bolton-lover likes trips to the botanical gardens, wine coolers and long phone conversations about what your cat did this morning. Looks not important, but a wise, commitment-minded soul is. Please be serious about tofu."