I've been reading this best-seller called "Secrets of Seduction: How To Be the Best Lover Your Woman Ever Had," which right away gets depressing, because it implies that, if you're reading the book, you already HAVE a woman. Don't they realize that only LONELY GUYS read books like this?
Anyhow, it's by this woman named Brenda Venus, which I don't know about you, but the name sounds like somebody who works with a snake in the Trocadero Lounge in Reno.
Since it's turkey-hunting season again, I know I'm gonna get major flack from Wanda Bodine as soon as I whip out the old full-choke twelve-gauge, jump into a camouflage jumpsuit, and put on my hat with the little ear flaps.
For the last three, four years, Wanda's been on this animal-rights binge which includes TURKEYS. Like they're not gonna die anyway! Like the zoos of America are gonna close because there aren't enough TURKEYS to look at!