Whilethe Last Call crew continues to recover from Joe Bob’s Halloween Hootenanny,check out some old-school content from the man hisself. This review of InbredRednecks from September 5, 2001, feels like it was a warm-up for Joe Bob’s currentHow Rednecks Saved Hollywood tour that is surely coming to a Mutant City near you.Check the Upcoming Appearances section of this here website!

Inbred Rednecks

It’sbeen a long time since the heyday of the redneck movie, the swamp movie, thehillbilly movie, the cornpone southern action comedy. Peter Graves in PoorWhite Trash is probably the apotheosis of the genre, with Herschell GordonLewis’s Year of the Yahoo! being the bottom of the low-budget picklebarrel and the immortal Smokey and the Bandit being the mainstreamblockbuster version.

Tohave all the elements of a redneck movie, you need:

   1. Rednecks, preferably beer-guzzling.

   2. Backwoods babes in short shorts andhalter tops.

   3. Tattooed bikers.

   4.Moonshiners in muscle cars.

   5. Revenge.

   6. Bathroom humor, preferably outhousehumor.

   7. At least one bar fight, preferably withbroken beer bottles.

   8. An old grizzled coot.

   9. At least one high-speed Dukes ofHazzard-style motor vehicle chase involving river-jumping.

  10. Implied incest, bestiality or gene-poolconfusion.

Okay,so I’m toting up the count on Inbred Rednecks, andI get a score of 7 and a half —not too bad for Joshua P.Warren, the one-man film industry of Asheville, North Carolina, who usedamateur actors to try to pull off the first genuine country-bumpkin comedy ineons. Josh has obviously done his redneck homework in the town Thomas Wolfecould never go home to, and the result is kind of horrifyingly bad at times,but in a way that grows on you until you actually like these barfingbrew-quaffing rubes.

Thecomplete plot of Inbred Rednecks: Thesensitive story of Billy Bob and his six-foot-tall hormone-enhanced gamecockthat he christens with the endearing name of Big Ass Rooster. Billy Bob and hisbest friend Clovis (played by Josh himself, who also wrote, directed,photographed, edited, scored, and punched the little holes in the side of thefilm) take Big Ass to the local cockfights to try to score big cash off ofMonty and his undefeated cock. Monty’s warrior bird takes one look at Big AssRooster and decides to commit suicide, setting off a celebration at the localroadhouse that features a colossal ass-whuppin and about 17,000 really painfulredneck jokes.

Montyhas to get his revenge, of course, so pretty soon he’s plotting to steal BigAss for himself —but not before Clovis can make his play for the bootylicious localfast-food girl, the gravelly-voiced Bubba can barf his way through the statefair, the excitable Billy Bob can lead the local sheriff on a high- speed chaseending in senseless midget death, and Joe Bob (no relation) can unearth an oldbeach picture from Myrtle Beach that shows President Clinton exposing hisprivates. (It’s actually a plot point.)

Inother words, no plot to get in the way of the story. This is not just apure-dee North Carolina movie. This is a pure-dee western North Carolina movie,because they know that, if they have to, they can hide in those woods forever.

• One Dead Body
• No Breasts
• Two Dead Frogs
• Two Dead Cocks
• Ugly-Ed-On-His-Moped Rock-Throwing Target Practice
• One Giant Rooster
• Slapping
• Finger-Eating
• Four Ass-Whuppins, With One Scalping
• Hand-Slicing
• Stuffed-Monkey Neck-Chewing
• Basketball To The Privates
• Exploding Toilet
• Cockfight Montage, With Flying Feathers And Banjo Music
• Psychotic Midget
• Big Jimmy Extra Large Condom Box Price Check
• Grenade Explosion
• Bazooka Explosion
• Jogger Abuse
• One Motor Vehicle Chase
• Gratuitous Monkey Sub-Plot
• Gratuitous Weenie Roast
• Puke Fu
• Electric-Fence Fu
• Chicken-Suit Fu

Drive-InAcademy Award nominations for:

• Joshua P. Warren, as the bumbling lovelorn rube who tries to impress agirl by ordering “the most expensive combo on the menu” and expresseshis appreciation by saying “She’s got legs from her ass to the floor”
• Tiffany Leigh Linebaugh, as the fast-food cashier babe interest, for saying“Oh my God, I’ve died and gone to a redneck hell”
• Wayne Liles, as the paranoid frog-hating well-armed crazy oldVietnam-vet coot
• Mark-Ellis Bennett as the weird beard paranoid Peeping Tom
• Mike Weeks as the corrupt sheriff who says “Let’s get the ass-whuppin’started!”
• Shannon “Redman” Franklin as the beer-gutted whiskey-voicedsidekick who says “A guy walkin’ around here with an attitude, justbecause he’s a midget.”
• Butch Long as the grizzled grandpa whose relationship advice is…well,just watch the movie
• Brent Ponder as the genetically engineered wildman cock owner and
• Casey Fox as the roadkill midget

Twoand a half stars. Joe Bob says check it out.

© Copyright 2001 Joe Bob Briggs