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Joe Bob Reads His Reviews | The Last Drive-In

Armed with dry wit, Joe Bob Briggs heralds the return of "The Last Drive-In" amidst acclaim that it's saving humanity, a claim so grand it could only be delivered with a crooked smirk.

Editors Note:  Readers are advised that the opinions of guest writers on this website may occasionally diverge from the infallible wisdom of Joe Bob Briggs, and in such cases, Joe Bob cannot be held responsible for any resulting confusion, enlightenment, quantum entanglement, or existential crises.  Enjoy.

In an utterly modest display of self-promotion, Joe Bob Briggs announces the triumphant return of “The Last Drive-In” to Shudder on April 24th, armed with an arsenal of quotes from the media’s finest—or at least those who had spare time to comment. Decider, sensing perhaps a bit too dramatically the influence of the “Dark Lord,” heralds the show as a divine intervention in entertainment. Meanwhile, Entertainment Weekly, with its finger ever on the pulse of societal trends, notes the show as a “social media sensation,” a phrase so fresh and unexplored it practically sparkles with originality.

Bloody Disgusting, in a rare moment of hyperbole, claims the show’s success “damn near broke the internet,” a feat usually reserved for Kardashian derrières and royal wedding fiascos. IPT magazine, on the other hand, suggests “The Last Drive-In” is nothing short of messianic, saving humanity one B-movie at a time. And then there’s Forbes, ever the beacon of business acumen, calling the success “perhaps unlikely” and the format “unusual,” because, of course, a drive-in show in the streaming era is as conventional as a fish riding a bicycle.

Joe Bob, with his tongue firmly in cheek, reads these praises with the kind of humility only a true savant of schlock could muster, reminding us all that despite the naysayers, the skeptics, and those who dared to dream of a world without B-grade horror, the drive-in will indeed never die. As the eclectic mix of reviews makes clear, “The Last Drive-In” is set to return, much to the delight, or despair, of viewers everywhere, proving once again that taste is subjective, but horror is eternal.

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