Last Call

The Last Drive-In | Season 1 Week 5: House of the Devil

This pizza tastes nasty today...

Editors Note: Readers are advised that the opinions of guest writers on this website may occasionally diverge from the infallible wisdom of Joe Bob Briggs, and in such cases, Joe Bob cannot be held responsible for any resulting confusion, enlightenment, quantum entanglement, or existential crises. Enjoy.

Published July 1, 2019

The House of the Devil: Before, During and After

The Last Drive-In | Season 1 Week 5: House of the Devil 1 — All blog art by T.J. Denton – @tdenton_1138

Research Credits! Robin (@CreepiesRobin), our #MutantTheater Maven, Spirit the Cat + The Last Drive-In’s John Brennan (@badtechno)

Sam’s Diary Entry
Dear Diary — I don’t have a lot of time to write this – got this weird babysitting job to get to. But guess what? I FOUND AN APARTMENT! It’s so cute and the lady who’s renting it to me seems so nice. She looks familiar for some reason. She said I remind her of her daughter. Anyway, I’m super excited. I cannot WAIT to get out of this dorm. Heather is such a bitch. If I come back one more time and there’s a sock on the door – and it’s my freakin’ sock! God, I’m starving! I hope they have stuff to eat at this place. We had pizza today at Nick’s. I hardly ate any though. I was so nervous and excited. Megan said it was nasty anyway. Tonight changes everything for me. I know it’s just a babysitting job but I’m gonna make it work. I don’t actually hate kids. I could even see being a mom someday. Right now I don’t even have a boyfriend! Oh well, there’s plenty of time to think about that after I graduate. Oh, gotta go – Megan’s outside! I hate it when she honks the horn like a thousand times. Next time I write you, I’ll have $100 in my hand and be moving into my new apartment next week! Talk to ya tomorrow!

At Nick’s Pizza
Today Only – Eclipse PIE SPECIAL
White sauce, garlic, black olives, tomato, feta
Plus breadsticks and pitcher of Coke
Now Hiring!
Call 555-2364

The Last Drive-In | Season 1 Week 5: House of the Devil 2

Intern Office Job Board
We’ve got good stuff! See ham-faced girl at front desk for details.

Megan’s Autopsy Report
Description: Blonde, hazel eyes, 5’9”. Wearing white sweater, denim jacket, jeans, gray Chuck Taylors.
Vehicle: White Volvo. Found with: Pack of Benson & Hedges cigarettes. Babysitter fliers with phone number 586-2912
Stomach Contents: Pizza, hard candy, Coca-Cola
Blood: Nicotine

TV Guide Listing
***8 PM Ch. 13 NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD***
A farmhouse becomes a makeshift hideout for a group of strangers stalked by zombies (96 min.)

Classifieds from the Springfield Republican

Foreclosure & Estate Sale * 7714 East Beaumont
Owner vacated. 10-room, 2-story, basement.
Large yard. Estate includes used Volvo, all home furnishings
plus extensive fur collection.

APT FOR RENT
Back on market!
1 BDR, hardwd flrs, W. Springfield campus district.
Call 737-3328.
Looking for someone who is dependable!

Gregory Motta

A man of many talents, most of which involve staring at screens for unhealthy periods of time. When he's not busy contributing to Joe Bob Briggs' web presence with code or pithy commentary, he helms Motta Industries Inc, a California based Web Development company. His writing style can best be described as "caffeinated stream of consciousness with a dash of existential dread."