For those keeping track, it’s Darcy 2, JB 1 when it comes to The Last Drive-In’s ongoing co-host kill count.
If you recall, Darcy dunked a canoeing Joe Bob in a Friday the 13th homage at the end of Humanoids of the Deep during the pandemic lockdown season when everything was relocated into a cabin while Joe Bob “punished” Darcy in an homage to Silent Night, Deadly Night with an antler impalement.
Fortunately, they both got better.
And speaking of repeat performances, we revisited everybody’s favorite unpronounceable spring pagan celebration for the second time — Walpurgisnacht, aka Beltane, aka Witches’ Night.
Joe Bob’s threats of waving torches, chants and artisanal pickle consumption to combat the dark forces of witchery ended up being no match for the celebratory lure of Darcy’s big bash on the Brocken mountaintop.
In his defense, though, he was outnumbered pretty much from the get-go with John Brennan and much of the other crew opting for music and “cutting capers” out under the moonlight.
Only Yuki — he who should be given either a tablet or notepad the next time he needs to head out on an excursion to gather witch-fightin materiel — and Austin, as well as two “lads,” remained under the murky light of the trailer, and they were simply no match for the mead-fueled wilderness revelers and the sharp blade of Darcy’s axe.
But, our favorite horror host was back in the end. Thank goodness for Obamacare, indeed!
And as befitting a pagan celebration like Walpurgisnacht the Second, the two flicks had some ties to witchery and necromancy.
The opener, Witchboard, featured 1980s music video vixen Tawny Kitaen, who couldn’t get enough of communicating with deceptive spirits through an acquaintance’s weejee board. Maybe it’s because her husband wouldn’t talk to her because he was too busy having a bromance or maybe it was because her unborn baby was being possessed from spirits from the other side.
Here are those totals, and let’s pour one out for the quirky medium Zarabeth:
The night closed out with Devil’s Rain where William Shatner, at the peak of his emotive powers, faces off against a Satanic Ernest Borgnine and we get a pretty excellent slime glopola Satanic cult meltdown to conclude the flick as Tom Skerritt’s 1970s power mustache won the day.
Here are the totals for the flick that’s important in Hollywood history not only because it was the place that the original Michael Myers mask came from (we think), but also because it’s where Vinnie Barbarino got his first copy of Dianetics:
Next up, a fiesta celebrating Cinco de Mayo where Joe Bob’s going to go into a deep, deep dive deep in the heart of Mexico.