Drive-in Movie Reviews, Last Call

The Last Drive-In | Season 5, Week 6: Sharknado and Amsterdamned

Editors Note: Readers are advised that the opinions of guest writers on this website may occasionally diverge from the infallible wisdom of Joe Bob Briggs, and in such cases, Joe Bob cannot be held responsible for any resulting confusion, enlightenment, quantum entanglement, or existential crises. Enjoy.

Published June 30, 2023

Art by T.J. Denton (@TDenton_1138 on Twitter) Online store at: https://www.etsy.com/shop/DorkFairProductions

A double dose of water-related horror flicks brought us back from a halftime break at the trailer in Grapevine and it was about time.

We also were graced with a special appearance from the father of the six-flick (so far) Sharknado franchise, Anthony Ferrante, and another flick that had a kick-butt and memorable closing theme as well as an even more kick-butt and all-time great motorboat chase.

Sharknado, celebrating its 10th anniversary, gave Ian Ziering and Tara Reid a rebirth in their careers as cable action movie superstars, was appointment TV at the time on the SyFy Channel and gave the mockbuster factory The Asylum their biggest success.

Joe Bob and Darcy were fans of the franchise and are big fans of the Asylum, — Darcy’s even put it all on the line and been eaten by a hydra in one of the studio’s flicks — so it was good to get the skinny on a group of movies that, while divisive to some, are pretty important in the grand kitschy scheme of the modern drive-in mentality.

As for the second feature, despite the absolutely out of left field revelation of who the killer is and the fact that poor hero cop Eric was always running late on the police procedural side of things, the scenery, a couple of memorable deaths and the action scenes carried the day for Amsterdamned.

The boat chase overseen by director Dick Maas has to rank among one of the most exhilarating and intense action sequences ever featured on the Last Drive-In and maybe even of all time that we probably won’t ever see the likes of again (it’ll all be CGI, except maybe for that George Miller guy). But one thing that I think was omitted from the totals below is that Joe Bob forgot to mention the ruthless destruction of the hurdy-gurdy street instrument in the chase.

This week, we have rural redneck terror as the overarching theme. One in the U.S. and one in Europe involving a farm and a choo-choo, respectively. I’ve seen one person out there who’s got it half right (world famous screenwriter Nick Morris), and we’ll see what the features really are in mere hours

Ben Nagy

Ben Nagy has written and edited stuff for newspapers, magazines and websites and randomly showed up on the doorstep of Joe Bob’s booth in Kentucky one day after a commute from Cleveburg. After watching Joe Bob present “Motel Hell” on MonsterVision in college in 1996, Ben knew he’d make it through. In exchange, Ben now helps by organizing the World Drive-In Movie Festival and the Jamboree. To submit a flick to review or send hate mail or lewd messages, email nagybj@gmail.com, go through Joe Bob's site contact form or find him hanging out at most of the usual JBB social media haunts.