And that’s exactly what happens when an Army Ranger loses his fiancee at Mount St. Helens.

It’s autumn, and I want to make up for some lost reviewing time, so not only are you getting reviews of Halloween-type flicks for the last couple of weeks of October, but I’m also starting a series of THEMED reviews in tune with the crisp tinge in the air. Figured I’ve got to step it up to try to make some headway in this stack of approximately 400 flicks sitting around the house as I approach the first anniversary of me reviewing flicks for Joe Bob.

So as the nights lengthen, the other thing (besides watching movies) we can do as the weather and leaves change here up north is don our cold-weather survival gear and a red flannel (Sherpa lining optional). Then we grab a Thermos full of hot cocoa, a bag of granola, a big walking stick and what do we do?

That’s right. We go hunting for Bigfoot.

So this week’s flick is Big Legend, which I grabbed off a shelf somewhere.

Multiple Hubbie Award nominee and 1994 Best Slimeball winner Lance Henriksen shows up in the last few minutes of “Big Legend” to monologue about the nature of terror and monsters. (Screen capture from DVD by reviewer Ben Nagy).

It’s got cameos from two — count em — TWO, past Hubbie Award winners. Adrienne Barbeau (1982’s Best Actress and 1996’s You’ve-Made-Too-Many-B-Movies Award) and Lance Henriksen (winner of the Best Slimeball Hubbie in 1994).

The setup is this: Bigfoot is hanging out at Mount St. Helens kidnapping fiancées and making Army Rangers go nuts.

Case in point: Tyler the Army Ranger (Kevin Makely) takes his girlfriend, Natalie (Summer Spiro), out on a campout in Gifford Pinchot National Park. He proposes to her in a romantic scene, she accepts, they hike back to their campsite. Nature calls.

Tyler (Kevin Makely) and Natalie (Summer Spiro) enjoy a romantic view before things start going south for them in “Big Legend.” (Screen capture from DVD by reviewer Ben Nagy)

Yep. Bigfoot gets P.O.ed cause Tyler had the nerve to pee on his land.

Exit Natalie after their tent gets attacked in the middle in the night while our hero is out investigating the proverbial Noise in the Dark Woods. Back in civilization, Tyler is institutionalized for a year not knowing what happened. He gets better, but has those lingering doubts about her fate.

After his mom (Barbeau) grabs him from the institution and brings him back home, saying that she believes him that something unexplained happened out there and he won’t be at ease until he figures it out. It helps that Tyler goes through the photos and sees a suspicious Bigfoot-looking shape in one of the shots.

So dangit, it’s time to throw on some Carhartt, grab a rifle with a scope on it, put on a backpack and return to the scene of the crime where Bigfoot messes up his truck and he meets a camper named Eli (Todd A. Robinson) who offers him beer and says “chief” a lot.

Tyler Laird (Kevin Makely) and fellow wilderness explorer Eli (Todd A. Robinson) hunt a strange beast in the woods near Mount St. Helens in “Big Legend.” (Screen capture from DVD by reviewer Ben Nagy)

I mean, he says “chief” A LOT. If you drink every time he says it, I will not be held responsible for your inebriation level.

And for those who like a little blood with their alcohol …

The monster in “Big Legend” recreates a famous scene from that legendary episode of “The Six Million Dollar Man.” (Screen capture from DVD by reviewer Ben Nagy)
The monster in “Big Legend” has big feet and roams the woods in Washington. (Screen capture from DVD by reviewer Ben Nagy).

Justin Lee put in the credits that Makely’s and Henriksen’s characters will return in a flick called The Monster Chronicles. Will there be more Bigfeet (and will they be pissed)? Maybe a Mothman or a Chupacabra? We’ll see.

Two and a half stars.

Check it out streaming on Prime Video, TubiTV, Hoopla or Vudu. It’s also out there on DVD if you wanna get physical.

 

Ben Nagy

Ben Nagy has written and edited stuff for newspapers, magazines and websites and randomly showed up on the doorstep of Joe Bob’s booth one day after a commute from Cleveburg. After watching Joe Bob present “Motel Hell” on “Monstervision” in college in 1996, Ben knew he’d make it through. You can follow him on Twitter @BJ_Nagy, and he’s at most of the usual Joe Bob-related social media haunts if you want to say hi.

The Screening Room archive